i threw up in a trash can last night at kellys irish times. but in a trash can because i'm a lady
You told me you were pretty sure you were god because you knew everything about everyone.
We had one of those mutual "I know your on a dating website, I won't tell if you won't" glances.
Dude, I couldn't come. She sounded like a goddamn dying walrus.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
ITS DAYLIGHT SAVINGS TIME SUNDAY EVERYTHING IS GOING TO BE OK AFTER ALL
Did you leave your blow razor here? I need it for crafts.
I don't know what he did to me, but he did it wrong. I think my pelvis is broken. I cant even drive without it hurting. What. The. Fuck.
Twas the night before the bachelor party, and all thru the house...not a creature was stirring, not even a stripper?...
That dude with the beard walked up to me, turned my water into wine with everclear and kool-aid, and walked away. Pretty sure drunk Jesus is back.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
She had a belly button piercing in the shape of a cross. Talk about mixed messages.
She deliberately backed into the homewrecker's whoremobile and yelled ""FOR SPARTA!"
Netflix, eggnog, and bed? Maybe some hand stuff?
he's been dating her for 18 months and cheating on her with me for 16. if that's not commitment, i don't know what is.
just walked passed a black light...apparently he DID cum.
I don't want to date him...I just want him to cheat on his girlfriend with me.
Randomize