yeah, but that could mean anything in Denmark.
This unplanned pregnancy thing is really taking all the fun out of football season.
kerrys trying to convince everyone in the bar shes a lesbian. cheers to not being the drunkest girl in the room. i probably wont piss myself tonight.
long story short: there's a file in the master file cabinet labeled "lube".
there are way too many $1s in my wallet for last night to have been 'tame'
you should break up with her....give her the gift of reality
At least I tried to be smart when I brought the alarm clock into the bathroom just in case I fell asleep.
Had "I should be in prison or dead" storytime at the bar. Found out James has done blow off a dead guy. Overwhelmed and speechless.
After he finished he sang his college fight song like it was some victory
Im breaking out the trunk vodka tonight, its been aged to perfection.
I see you met someone special
I remember caressing his hands asking him if he moisturized, then i proceeded to put his hands on my face
how do you always get into these "we banged the same dude now lets be friends" situations???
He fell into the beer pong table and broke it. Then he threatened to throw the toliet at us if we didn't let him keep playing
I went to smoke a bowl and realized that my lighter is out and there's still frozen blueberries in my bong... I need to reevaluate my life...
I know this sounds fake but she's deep frying a bar of soap right now
Come fucking get her
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