Any of you guys fuck a 16 year old again? Because our front yard got fucked over high school style.
Life is so much better when you know you're gonna get laid soon.
Also, I just saw a woman change into her stripper outfit in the bathroom at Target.
i have a surprise for you that looks bigger since I found my body hair trimmer
I need to sleep with 3 more guys by midnight to meet my 2010 resolution..
I would convert to being a Republican and Mormon just to sleep with Romney's sons. The things I would to do them.
Found my bike today. On top of the garage. I'm not even going to ask myself why.
I was like a damn cattle dog, I separated all the sheep, I can wing man for anyone on this campus.
They were swingers. Real swingers. Thought it was going to be awesome until some fat guy tried to put my dick in his mouth.
Are you still free tonight?
Oh shit I kinda forgot and took acid
At one point I yelled "THIS IS MY PENANCE FOR EVERYTHING I'VE DONE WRONG" and started saying Hail Marys
Yeah, I mean I'll probably fuck him regardless but I'm trying to be a lady about it.
I got laid two nights in a row
And none for Gretchen Wieners...
I'll tell you that it involved a pair of pliers and a trip to the ER.
I demand a full explanation right now.
I'm slacking. We've been hooking up for months and I have yet to bang him while he's wearing the clown mask.
Randomize
