Did you know that when you swallow it's like 60 calories!?
That's okay, it's all protein anyway.
Hawaiian shirts and no dignity
We are always on the same wavelength...kinda eerie.
If we keep treating our bodies like amusement parks we have another 10 years left at best.
I havnt had this much beer since i losodt my virginity. thank. god.
You know when its a good night when you have to be reminded IHOP is a family establishment.
You got my ass fired just for knowing you
thanks for the bacon
it got awkward when she realized that our nickname for her was "The Hambeast"
It was either a cute kinda butch tomgirl or a really fem guy. Either way, I made out with it. Bisexuality, my best friend.
I refuse to have another spring break doomed by pregnancy.
Houston, we have a blender
So I just did the math and everything in this room except the computer and my clothes has been in my vagina
I'm considering having a threesome with my friend just so I can sleep with his boyfriend and not feel guilty about it.
Pretty sure I used toilet water to wash vomit off my face last night...
I just moved my 11am hair appointment to 8am so I could blackout at noon. Who am I?
Who brings nunchucks to a funeral?
I AM OFFICIALLY LICENSED TO BE A LESBIAN
Randomize
