I was in a gas station that sold tazers and I just saw a billboard that said "Strippers, need we say more?" God I love Georgia!
I sat a few seats down and one row behind a cute girl at the Cubs game today. Having watched her talk to the guy next to her, I found out only her name and age. I then used that information and pieced it together with over 500 girls on Facebook with the same name. I found the same girl, and we're now fbook friends.
if being a creepy fuck was an olympic sport, they'd think you were using performance enhancing drugs...
You named all of the cocktail shrimps and then tackled a guy for "eating Henry"
the people going to church this morning while i was walking home did not seem as pleased as i was with how many beads i earned last night
We had literally Just finished having sex when he handed me a plan B and said he lied about wearing a condom.
I'm proud of our boobs and what they could potentially achieve in life.
I don't even want to talk about it, I'm traumatized. Even the dog knew to take advantage of the most intoxicated girl at the party...
maybe next time you'll take an ex boyfriend warning you that she's batshit crazy as a warning instead of a challenge
THEY WONT LEYT ME IN AND I REALLY NEED SOME FRUIT
Just walked in on my older brother getting a bj. He told the girl to "keep going" and then attempted to high five me
Just now remembered singing Trashy Women at the reception. Not karaoke, just sang along with the mic I stole from the DJ. All while still in my dress drinking champagne from the bottle
You're the reason I lose Never Have I Ever
Lost feeling in my face, my shoe and had a nose bleed. That's not wings. Fuck red bull.
I'm smoking in a kimono on the couch. Bring me gin.
Let me just get through this whole court subpoena thing and then ill go back to buying alcohol for minors.
Randomize
