Do you feel like you missed out a little from not getting crabs in college?
Vanillla milkshakes are the new Gold Bond. Will explain later.
At least a dozen asian tourists will be showing their friends pictures of me peeing off of Hoover Dam with a cop pointing his gun at me when they get home. I worry about the impact on their children.
He just found another high guy at wal-mart. There now friends. His friend is eating a cupcake
Sounds good! I plan on writing a book entitled: I've Probably Done Cocaine In Your Bathroom. A tell-all by Lauren.
I was pissed last night bc this girl didn't want to have sex but offered to reimburse me for the condoms. That just made me upset
I just woke up to three dick pics. Apparently in my blacked out state. I was asking for them as the new valentines day card.
The only responsible thing ive done in vegas is shower and that was onky to clean vomit off me
I just saw a bunch of drunk old guys riding on the side of a modified old fire truck yelling at cars and smoking while they looked for parking...promise we will be just like them when we grow up?
I'm craigslisting fire trucks as we speak
We're like adult pinky and the brain when they decided that taking over the world is unrealistic so they aim lower by trying to get drunk every day.
why does CNN give a flying $@*# about the royal baby so, so much?
i hope they name him Joffrey
He came so hard that he yelled what sounded like a spell from Harry Potter.
For starters i called the cops on myself for trying to destroy the ladys decorations
I'm just too horny to handle empty house
Look idk the rules and regulations of our freindship...but I need you to carry me to my car.
Randomize
