I didn't notice until this morning that he had a six inch RAT TAIL...
and my herpes radar will keep us safe
Topless wife handwashing shirt. Tonight marriage is good.
she just refered to her hymen as "the mrs"
i wrote her a fucking poem. i better get laid for that
I didn't think it was possible but there may actually be TOO MANY pictures of me tagged shotgunning.
and then he put stevie wonder on to fuck to...and hummed along as I blew him
I think she faked a seizure to get out of it ...
It was about the point the universe collapsed in on itself and I was a singularity of insanity that I realized I was tripping balls.
The liquor stores are closed! NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO! CURSE YOU SANDY!!!!
its one thing to be single and another thing to be single and then have your profile picture be of you and the cat
your picture is with misty too!!
I AM SINGLE BY CHOICE
I love you but I don't want to see you naked.
So I was just like hi, I'm your roommate's gf. Please don't hate me. That would be rly inconvenient for you.
You made the lady who made your cheeseburger sign the box so that when she got famous you would have her autograph.
I didn't really understand how big 10 inches is. Now I know.
Randomize
