I'm fucking your sister right now.
You motherfucker
She's next.
Is it weird that I have contacts who i've classified as DO NOT ANSWER?
Lol no its called college
For some reason fuck navy didn't go over quite as well as say fuck michigan;
He told me he was ok to drive home. Then I found him face-planted in the parking lot.
I used to practice getting hit by cars.
I saw you try to drink out of a soda machine at taco bell, don't worry about judging
I seem to remember you being very disappointed that drinking Michelob Ultra didn't give you magic powers.
A French guy bit my cheek. Is that sexy there? Also had to threaten to stab the bus driver. I'm not sure I like Europe.
He told me "it wants a kiss" WHY HAS THIS HAPPENED WITH 2 DIFFERENT PEOPLE.
You looked up at me and said "I'm getting a mattress made out of this SHIT. Goodbye certa hellllllllo concrete!" then you started counting sheep
Winning pick four numbers were just 6969... if I were 18 I could've won 20,000 dollars.
WHY ARE THERE SO MANY BURPS IN MY SMALL, INCREDIBLY ATTRACTIVE BODY
Both guys that I'm dating were waiting for me in the parking lot after work. Literally the most awkward situation I have ever been in
It's like the hunger games, but we're gonna bone each other instead of kill each other
i asked your drunk ass where the fuck you were going and you screamed “WENDY’S BITCH”.
Randomize
