I just watched a guy get turned down by a prostitute
She asked to borrow my chapstick then said "I promise I won't get herpes on it"
Just found a glow stick inside of my vagina..
With the amount of traffic your vagina gets, it was only a matter of time before someone threw a rave there.
We were tigers and tigers don't wear pants
I woke up and my clothes were soaked in the shower and I was wearing a Ghostbusters uniform. I'm shocked she hasn't left me yet.
The working title of my paper? "Tailgating: A Big Clusterfuck of Kids Who Dont Actually Give a Shit about Football"
He turned down jacuzzi sex. He cares more about my vagina than i do.
Yes, you can 69 in a fiat. But I think I have permanent nerve damage
What part of "he tried to put his dick in my ear" did you not understand??
HE GAVE ME ONE OF HIS BEERS.
YOU'RE THE CHOSEN ONE.
I have walked into stripper central, but I'm on the street at 1:00 in the afternoon
Think of all the island guys I could have. Ah well.
You can not bait me into a "how Stella got her groove back" call and response.
I wish I may, I wish I might, get some daddy dick tonight
I am mentally ready for anal.
I swear he is my soulmate. He kept feeding me goldfish while we were fucking. Who wouldn't enjoy that while having sex.
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