whats a more ladylike way to say "fuck me on your lunch break"?
Apparently married women at the office don't like getting congratulated on getting "knocked up"
There was blood everywhere. She was pretty good looking person though.
Please just tell me how ugly she was so I can bask in the diminishingly small reassurance that might give me
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
If you wondered to yourself today, "did Sarah break her bathing suit strap and flash a pool full of children," the answer is yes.
So maybe putting the blacklight above the futon wasn't the best idea...
His ass WILL be my cock's next vacation home.
I wish I had a dick so I could say shit like that.
Ordained minister or not I hereby renounce all moral responsibility for any and all related occurrences
I'm just checking to make sure you don't want to go to the farmers market... This is an assumption based on the fact that you were slapped with a sandwich last night and you remained unconscious.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I think I've forgotten how to blink. Help plz?
did you just send me my own nude
the worst fight me and my gf ever had was over Guy fieri
Why did u text me "I want to get drunk and go to pizza hut tomorrow. don't let me forget." at 3am??
That text was pretty fucking self-explanatory, man.
How dare sober me try to tell drunk me I can't eat the applesauce in the fridge! Stingy bitch IM EATING THE APPLESAUCE! you can tell sober me I said that.
Btw that $18 I gave you to run around outside naked came out of your wallet.
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