My body has become completely dependent on Text Twist. I can't poop without it.
the girl sitting next to me in class is using her birth control box as a ruler
I cant even remember his name or what he looked like. all I remember is what the tattoo on his forearm looked like.
well, he kindof looked like a walmart greeter. I tried to stop you
We are NOT roofying him just to get him to pass out so we can build a masive snow cock in his yard.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Semen is not good for contacts.
I gave you head at the stadium on a Thursday night ESPN game. That damn well better be worth points on the score board!!!
you were upstairs in your room looking out your window and saw him puking in your bushes outside. you then proceeded to open the window and sing Come To My Window
Exact words that were just spoken as she was on her 6th, yes 6th piece of bread: "I'm only eating the soft and chewy inside of the bread-I am taking the crust home to feed my turtles"
this night just went from meh to biblical thanks to drunk naked yahtzee
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I only had ten dollars. So leave it to Katie to somehow makeout with the bartender, on his shift mind you, and get free drinks.
I don't know if your celebrity crush has ever asked you for nudes, but it's fucking awesome
Called Apple, my penis pics are safe.
i'm just really offended he didn't want to have breakup sex. like that was the only thing i was really looking forward to
I'm recovering from the blowjob...She's doing her taxes...
I told him it was fine and then I keyed his car.
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