Brickbreaker makes my post drinking poops that much better. Sorry, I had to tell someone who might agree.
as veruca salt said, "i want it now!"
uhh im not your indulgent father, stoned and im in the middle of making tacos. right now, tacos win
I'm at work, still drunk. Can you turn on the radio? If the station goes off the air I passed out. Can't get fired. Haven't slept yet.
Her life is proof that being a drunken slut will get you places.
My sister came home, pulled two nalgene bottles of jaeger-bomb out of the fridge, changed out her 3 inch heels for 6 inch heels and left in under 3 minutes. I've never been more proud of her.
I bought 2 40s with winning lottery tickets and they paid me $.03. 'Merica
Her eyebrows were plucked so thin that she had to have gonorrhea. Clean girls just don't pluck that way
And I can feel feelings now and they hurt
Sleeping in a car was not on my list of plans for the night.
I'm debating a nap but also debating breaking into the liquor cabinet
Do we have to do this party tonight? I'm worried my bed will miss me...
We moved the bed and she found my vibrator. The entire ride home was a montage of her singing "Are You Lonesome Tonight"
that is our friendship pylon, do not lose it
fuck you.
DO NOT LOSE IT
Im looking at the faintest of claw marks right now. I just fell in love all over again.
Your sister walked upto me in the middle of the hallway and was like get us beer or shes never having sex with you ever again, wtf
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