Boner jamz table deep. plus bar deep. wiing waing.
Have you ever seen an entire lecture hall fist pump? It's magical.
Now we are really drunk and her 17 yr old cousin is shitfaced. He may or may not have proposed a toast to octopuses and double fisting. And we just drank to Mexico.
i would really love it if at least once per weekend i did not wake up to you half naked passed out on the floor
You could make a naked club. One member, you. One president, you.
My chest smells like french fries. Get at me attractive men.
Considering that your "hello" was replaced with "Fuck yo couch," I'm not surprised that you have a black eye.
She could makes a perfectt roast dinner drunk but she nearly sets the kitchen alight microwaving popcorn.
Dude my body has gone into shock from not eating frozen pizza and chips. I've been shitting like Richard Simmons after a night out of twerking in a corn field
I feel like I could get pregnant watching Zac Efron do yard work in this movie
He got up in the middle of the show and returned with this massive ham shank, then offered me some by asking "wanna suckle on my hog." Should I be offended?
i feel as though me waking up and asking her if i went to the hospital was a sign that i was not okay
Woo is fucking right, dude. Vodka night tonight. Honestly, every night pretty much seeems like vodka night lately. My liver wants to move out of my body like I gave it an eviction notice.
Dude it's unhealthy how much I love vagina in my face
Im glad your laughing because im currently convincing my penis you didnt mean it and its all gunna be ok.
Randomize
