Soap is not a condiment
wouldn't it be funny if when girls shaved their vaginas, they gave them sideburns?
im over her. I got weed and youtube. everything i could ever ask for.
I need to stop hooking up with boys in my major. three boys in one class is just a litttle too awkward.
i just got drunk dialed and its 10am. clearly finals are over.
There is nothing scarier than watching yourself breathe in the mirror while on shrooms.
Did you just buzz the apartment and throw shit at the window? Josh and rob came into my room and woke me up
Fuck you Ian. U owe me $3.65 cuz thasts what I thfrew at ur window trying to wake ur ass up. And fuck u for not giving a shit
please come home... she's showing me videos of spanish parrots and is telling me about her dead cousin...
We can do this. We've been drunk at a gay bar, we will not be taken down by a Tuesday.
ERIN AND I ARE GETTING MATCHING VIBRATORS. I'M PEER PRESSURING YOU INTO JOINING THE CLUB. Besides we're the three best friends that anyone could have, you better not ruin that by being a pussy and not treating your pussy to awesomeness. That is all.
Went to work in the same clothes from last night, completely covered in glitter...I didn't choose the hag life, the hag life chose me
Step 1: Buy a house Step 2: Turn bedroom into sex dungeon
Where is Holly?
Nevermind. i can hear her having sex two doors down
the last thing is remember is that strange guy in the leotard...i woke up in my bed, naked, with a half eaten grilled cheese on my nightstand, a six pack in the fridge, a new pack of cigarettes on my pillow and coke in my purse. apparently i bought some drugs, shopped and cooked. typical.
I was not drunk enough for that final.
Randomize
