i just saw a white kid with an afro using a martini shaker as a coffee thermos. go college.
My student's should feel privledged to see me tuesday after the amount of alcohol I consumed this weekend.
She got a tattoo in memory of her cat, my attratcion to her is no more.
i have two emotions: emotionless and blind with rage
It looks like I promised him my virginity, in spanish. What the hell did you give me?
I'm beginning to think that women just have dogs at home as an excuse to leave ASAP after hooking up, without sounding like a typical guy.
I want to share a beverage of the alcoholic category with you, but I'm conflicted about getting out from under my covers.
I assume you passed out however I'm drinking jäger and beer in bed with my cat so your friendship world have been appreciated
last night i fell off a barstool and busted my nose. i can regretfully say that i didn't see cherub last night.
I gave my girlfriend a ring to celebrate our anniversary, she thought It was an engagement ring. Now im getting married and I don't know what to do.
Fun fact. A penis can be used to catapult cheetos.
He walked upstairs in nothing but his boxers and drunkenly asked my brother for a condom....so much for a good first impression.
God does not give you boobs that amazing to not share them with your friends
So, I just found out Ireland, is #1 in binge drinking. I know its Sunday but this one is for America.
dude I fucking saw you snort tequila
Randomize
