Please dont use Danity Kane lyrics to describe your emotions.
No. I still stand by my previous statement that nachos and tequila is the breakfast of champions.
My number went up to seventeen today. I forgot to add my random hookup on a sailboat.
He's like the houdini of condoms. I never even realized he put one on before we fucked. he's magical.
It's like, I'm the official vagina for that DJ group
Sex with him was like teaching a two year old how to work a machine gun
I asked you how much you drank and you replied with "I don't know what kind of toothpaste I use."
When the cops knocked on the door, he just knocked back and announced "house keeping"
Hello you've reached the get a clue corp. Our business hours are from take a hint to figure it out, eastern standard time. If you prefer to leave a message, don't, call back when you're not crazy, fat, and annoying.
He asked me where I wanted it. I told him in the condom. He stops mid thrust and says "you're no fun" and then blew. Chivalry is semi dead.
he's singing something in russian and knocking over my plants with his dick, get his drunk ass out of my apartment
HE STUCK IT IN THE FISHBOWL WTF
He showed up to a booty call with 2 tea bags, but no condom...
I have shit my pants twice this week. #adulthood
Why did I wake up with BYOB sharpied on my stomach
are you drinking tonight?
I have an exam tomorrow
so yes.
Randomize
