Without porn, I would have few hobbies.
We couldn't find any ping pong balls, so we used a fishing bobber. Could we be more country?
Can we fast forward to the part where we get gyros
yeah, it's no longer just 'day drinking' when it's 5pm and you're knocking over fruit displays at fresh market
I think your going to be the cause of an awesome death
He only dropped the Russian accent after we started having sex.
I think the multiple Sunday morning sirens outside my window are a plot by the cops to get back at me for the shit we pulled last night. Or I should move to a better area.
All of a sudden i love everyone. In all their flawed and failing beauty. This is pretty good weed.
i woke up and saw you were brushing his hair naked. I can never pass out around you, man.
I have a new favorite bar game. It's called, get dressed up and go drinking alone then make up random stories of why you are alone to look less like an alc
Is it possible to rally from a drunken seizure?
She just left someone a voicemail saying 'you better not have plans Saturday night, cause I'm going to sit on your face.'
Excuse me while I gouge out my eyes.
In which case my work here is done.
according to the calendar even that i put in my phone last night, i'm supposed to fuck shit up at 11am today... i really hope i didn't miss something important
Guy just rode past on a lowrider bike smoking a blunt, I want his life
Randomize
