who cares. he's ugly and has a dick this big -->
our cab driver is having phone sex.
I just saw a girl in Albersons in spandex and curlers buying PBR. Only PBR.
I must say your penis is just as photogenic as you
do you know how hard it is to pee with a pumpkin in the toilet ?
I'm a lady, I can't pee on the ceiling. Even I don't have that power.
I am broke enough to accept it. If I get poisoned, you can have my shoes
The best part of last night was the women's softball game on the TV at the strip club
We need to do something soon. I need like 4,000 beers and a cigarette.
one renamed every person in my phone 'I lpvw tewqils', so it would really help me out if you could text me your name. Happy sunday!
I decided to do drugs in front of her because if anyone can handle the truth it's a ghost
I didn't even mind that he came early I just wanted to get eaten out and cuddle
Why am I sleeping on top of the fridge?
You were playing hide and seek with the dog. she couldn't find you and you passed out.
would you eat cereal with weed in it
who is this???
What the fuck was I thinking eating an entire tub of potato salad on acid. My stomach today bro
Randomize
