I wish I could still say I don't know that you taste like bad ice cream.
you know i'm gay cause i'd have sex with lady gaga. what straight man would say that?
From now on, just let me go home. I'm tired of hooking up with your roommates... Including you.
So... he formspringed me a link to every nude pic ive taken since he 8th grade. ive evolved nicely. but im nervous as to how this a website.
We are not buying weed off a guy from the internet.
I just saw a commercial for God of War and heard the nickname he gave my vagina.
I'm pretty sure the bus driver knew how hung over I was and hit all the pot holes on purpose. I threw up into my water bottle.
He somehow pantsed the bouncer and tipped him over before cartwheeling and skipping away? Help me find him.
No more stories ab the wkend for co-workers... No one else found "and I didn't have pants on when I got home Saturday night" as funny as I did.
He's unconstrained by sanity, physics, or his liver.
Unless you count my weekly workout where I drink wine, listen to obscure/cheesy records, and pretend I'm a ballerina...no. I don't exercise.
I know! It's like he knows when my vagina wants to misbehave!
I love how my parents bring water bottles filled with vodka on family trips
You know you're drunk when you have to be picked up out of a bathtub.
She has my name on her bucket list. I’m either getting laid or killed
Randomize
