I'm not saying he was bad at sex, but I'm pretty sure I anti-climaxed.
I KNOW you don't honestly think you can pay me back in lotto tickets.
just stared at ed norton's ass for 26 miles. if there was ever an incentive to run a marathon, that was it. my life is perfect.
Your friends ate a hole through an entire loaf of bread
She should get an extra 30 days for that Georgia Rule movie......terrible.
Stealing vibrators from Walmart together was when I realized you'd be my Maid of Honor.
He just climbed off me and used my hairspray to fix his hair. If he hadn't just gone down on me I would think he's gay.
I swear to god if he wasnt on the fourth floor balcony and I wasn't to drunk to climb I would kill him
Apparently I tried to convince him to sleep with me by showing him that I could do dips....
As I was brushing his cum out of my hair he looks at me and says "it happens to me all the time."
I was having the most awesome dream about onion rings and you hit me and told me to stop touching you...WTF?
I have to date her we need a place to stay for tailgating
The beer bottle was sticking out of your zipper and you shook it onto unsuspecting patrons
I asked her if she could eat some Doritos so when we made out it would taste awesome
Bold words for someone NOT on a unicycle
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