mrs. f**** your sons in jail, if you can help with bail please respond, if not please dont tell him i told you.
I told her I had to go to work this morning, got fully dressed in a suit, walked her out, drove around the block, parked, and walked right back in my apt and went back to sleep..
I'll trade you a raw potato for some vodka
I'm pretty sure we've had sex a bunch more times than we've hugged. So hugs are weird when they happen.
No that's sign language, not a drinking game. I tried to join
My near death experience also doubled as my coming out story
they all just nodded
The bartender just asked me if I owned stock in Jameson. I've been here for less than an hour and he's already judging me.
Josh has a goal of being naked in every RAs room this year. He's already 3/11.
I'm sorry but that single bed couldn't hold all five of us, especially with those boobs.
I'm stoned and just shared 4 cookies with this chicks dog
They're raisins though so they're healthy. No worries.
If this nail lady pinches my achilles one more time im kicking her directly in her bedazzled boobs
This feeling I'm having... is it love or a combination of alcoholism and unprotected rough sex
I just haymakered a dude with my face, can we talk about ME for a second and not the guy I fought?
I'm like going proud parent over you doing drugs, this is so wrong.
You kissed my hand and then put a Taco in it. Why WOUDNT I leave my husband?
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