I heard it from a little bird bananas is gonna be there
Is this bird reliable bc I don't wanna be wasted running around the bar asking where bananas is
We will have to stop frequently for food, stretching legs, interesting things on the side of the road, and sex. So you might as well eat.
there should be a rule- if you jizz on it, you wash it
so i used to love airports for the escalators... now its the bars... then the escalators after the bars
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Your sister reminds me of me at her age. Stop her while you can.
is it sad that i can describe this night as "the night that i was sober" and we all know which night it was. like literally one night of sobriety.
I think I'm going to postpone my photo shoot until my Gpa dies. I don't want to be in lingerie and stripper heels when I finally get the call
I'm eating Doritos that I crushed up n put in a cup so I only have to chill minimally.
Look. If you're going to be my girlfriend you need to be down with me licking BBQ off your face infront of kids.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
She took the fish and put it in the hot tub, then turned on the jets. She said she was training it for the Olympics.
Mom called her a cunt. I think that's code for "don't bring her over ever again."
I got to see a stripper that did magic last night. It was glorious.
Mate, you pissed in my bed. Then told me to "Just keep swimming"
even my drug dealer wished me a happy birthday before my mother did.
We were 6 minutes into the movie before we realized the whole movie was spoken in Italian. That level of stupidly-ripped
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