What would you say if someone told you they liked your lips?
Which ones?
Coffee is gods way of saying go ahead, get absolutly trashed on weeknights, I got your back
Been considering the feasibility of adopting a kangaroo. Yes I'm very serious. And yes I'm very high.
i wish i coudl send you meat via computure
Swear to god this chicks brother got let out of jail for the weekend for the sole purpose of cock blocking me
I just had to dig under a pile of condoms in my desk drawer to get to a blue book. Summer is officially over.
It's not like I ment to feed you the shots of vodka, my hand just kinda slipped.
remember that guy i blew in a bathroom in barcelona, i just blew him again in rome. lightning does strike twice.
It wasnt until i started dancing that i realized i pissed myself dude. I dont think shes gonna call me back.
That's the 3rd time I've gone home with her and she passed out on me. I poured 6 boxes of cereal on her and left
Today is my 3 year wedding anniversary...and I've seen three different dicks.
Cant get off the floor. Need more beer. Send help.
All the doctor said was why
I don't think I can get drunk, high or horny enough to even consider that
Sometimes I get confused on who I really actually know and who's lives I just know everything about via internet. Its a fine line
Randomize
