Kind of a slow process. Played 9 holes with her yesterday. Wish one of them was hers
Omg. The strippers are having a batman vs spiderman showdown. Both on stage. Genius.
for me the strap perfect is like a chastity belt
She was singing my heart will go on into her barf bag. celine aint got shit on her.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Worst relationship ever. Keep in mind I've dated two married chicks and a Mormon.
found scuba porn. totally not sexy. life continues to disappoint.
He is now the second fuck buddy that i have met by walking up and grinding on him. My ass is so much more productive than dating
Man, just talk to her friend and help me out. Otherwise we go home alone
I'd rather jerk off with a hand full of bumble bees then talk to her
If I interpreted our horoscopes correctly...you should be coming home with an 8 ball. Just saying.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
After much deliberatipn and vodka, my favourite phrase of Christmas 2012 is "penis of last resort"
I don't know if I want context or not...
Context involves faux incest and champagne. Id go into detail but im on shot number 5.
You know those twins i had a crush on in grade school? Just woke up between them. Best. Party. EVER.
When breakfast is a rum &coke at the office Christmas party you know it's gonna be a good day
If you break up with me one more time it's over.
She dated an Australian guy or some dude with an accent. Normal guys don't stand a chance.
CHALLENGE ACCEPTED.
being broke is really keeping my alcoholism in check
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