Smith looks like a guy that goes on a lot of first dates
I'm sooo using this pickup line: "Baby, its not the 2.5 inches... Its the 200 pounds behind it"
This random guy just introduced himself then said "So, I am staying at my friends place and he has a 4 year old, so we should probably go back to your house." WTF kind of vibes do I give off?
the facebook you made of my ass has 10 times more friends than i do.
you're the best thing to happen to me. closely followed by learning to ejaculate, and drugs.
He wouldnt stop screaming that he wanted a trashcan WITH a lid. Whats so necassary about a lid
He took a banana and in front of everyone showed her how he wanted it done.
I only remembered where urgent care was because it's across the street from my favorite bar
I wish! That ended in 2001 when we all got collectively band from the Settle Inn. As a group we are also band from social events at the zoo. It's impressive really.
IT'S LIKE SHE TAKES SECRET KUNG FU CUNT LESSONS AND THEN BRUCE LEES ALL OVER EVERYONE.
we broke up because he couldn't handle the fact that i've slept with more girls than he has. also, i've slept with the girl he's seeing now.
Is "when in doubt date the guy with the bigger dick" a good philosophy?
I would of joined had I not blacked out last night and ran around naked breaking things till 4 am
A respectable fucking: good but like I don't want to get kicked out of my hotel room
He was a foot taller than me and my hands were bigger than his, it's called Pity head
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