My new storm is the chrons
The only reason I needed a new one is bc I threw up on my other one(248): And since Verizon doesn't have a throw up test, I was eligible for a new one
The boys in front of me put beer, red plastic cups, ping pong balls, lighterfluid, and twelve packs of pantyhose on the conveyor belt. Whatever drinking game they're playing, I want a part in.
I don't know. I guess at the end of the day I wanted taco bell more than a boyfriend.
Totally get that.
He was making tequila spiked Arnold Palmers and murmuring things in Spanish.
I love foreign exchange students.
I told him the truth. Truth leads to vodka. Vodka leads to tequila. Tequila leads to prison.
Half my face is frozen, my vagina is broken, I'm wearing only gym shorts eating a plate of mashed potatoes, avatar is on my tv. There's a naked guy on my couch whose name idk. I needa talk to you asap
I think I need to donate blood to see if I have Hepatitis. Again.
You raged at the rock climbing place for not selling beer and then just said "fuck it" and pulled out a flask.
Totally forgot I asked the cop for a theoretical fist bump and he still let me drive away
so i ran into nick. i may be more gay than anticipated
im glad im back to a point in my life where i have enough sex to sometimes be offered and be like naw im good.
What if for Halloween I paint my self gold and make sandwiches for everyone? I'd be a trophy wife! Get it?
I spent two entire hours explaining to a guy why I wouldn't make out with him. How was your night?
Considering we almost incited a riot on behalf of LGBT rights I have to say that was the best time for our moral compass to turn south.
so i may or may not have just had sex on the stage of the lecture hall....
Randomize
