Just be blunt and say drink from my dick
This guy told us that for a dollar and two cigarettes he'd let Megan stomp on his crotch. We were gonna refuse, but we figured someone had to keep him from passing his stupid genes along.
Girl just texted me a pic of her boobs with the caption "don't think I'm a whore"
just got the results back. i love his dick even more now i know its clean
For looking exactly like her, she tasted less like her sister than I would've thought
Indeed. The kind of morning where puking in someone's shoes is not frowned upon
I've already reverted to sweat pants. And lonely drinking.
I don't remember much but I think I'm wearing your underwear, and for that, I am extremely grateful.
Almost there.
define "almost". like I have enough time to watch a youtube video or oh shit, put on some goddamn pants because they're in the driveway.
I need to beat up a magician now. BRB.
The second time he came it projectile shot in my ear
We were in a spooning position and it shot all the way up. He was like sorry. Physics.
I thought he put a fake swan in my yard, but no, he put a real life swan in my yard
Sometimes I feel like I should become a beautician purely for my ability to shave pretty shapes into my pubic hair.
jesus, I think that canada gold metal game has completely changed all rules of acceptable drinking habits, I was fucked untill noon and I just got invited to go party when I get off work...at 600am...and NO ONE understood why i was hesitant
His dick smelled like strawberries...it was awesome.
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