I admire the strength of friendship we have that allows for sharing husbands.
Two girls just making out in the elevator. Didn't stop when the doors opened. Part of me didnt mind, but part did. Bc I wanted to get on the elevator without it getting awkward. Am I gay?
The nurse who basically saved my life just came into the store. Didn't recognize her. Awwwwkward.
I'm so pissed my boobs hit the emergency stop button during my workout
My goal is to upperdeck the house I'm at, because it's some girl I don't know's birthday. Welcome to adulthood, bitch.
There's a stoned dwarf chilling in the basement here. Maybe there are redeemable qualities about this place.
So who was trying to make it rain last night in the bathroom? There are pieces of dollar bill everywhere
A man in a black on black escalade pulled up next to me, and told me he was sent to pick me up by you.
His name is Tyreece. He will take you to the weed emporium, population me.
He handed me a temporary tattoo and said cover the hickey up with this
His dad gives me dirty looks whenever I come over though. I think it's because I eat his food and have sex with his son.
We took your mom out drinking and we wound up winning 18 games of Flip Cup. You have amazing genetics.
On a scale of 1 to 10 how concerned should I be
THE AUSTRALIAN IS SINGLE AS FUCK.
She's officially a Tinder poltergeist.
MY HISTORY TEACHER IS FUCKING MY MOTHER. I am downstairs and i can hear the squeak of the bedsprings please I swear to god pick me up THIS INSTANT.
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