We walked because you started screaming when you finally realized he wasn't Ben Bailey and it wasn't the Cash Cab.
I wish the holidays was like a drive thru. Get in. Get your presents. Get out.
We ran out of things to say while we were playing Never Have I Ever so we started playing I Have Done This... Have You?
i know im back at school when i can poke any random spot on my body and expect a 80% chance that theres a bruise there
Have thirty minutes until my shift starts. My heart says liquor store but my future says no
The next time i black out make sure i remove the ping pong balls from my weave. Especially before my first day of classes.
my mom just walked in on me in the shower doing the "ass hair shave" pose.
I was gonna tell her, but there were too many tongues in my mouth
From what I heard you ordered him to lick your balls. Unless you've kept a huge secret I understand his confusion.
Haven't sucked a dick since mid December. In crisis mode.
Idk how much of a virgin he is but I'm tryna find out.
We were driving past a farm when he screamed at me to stop the car, then he jumped out and tried to ride a cow.
I would like to make it known to all of you that my penis is official retired, but it thanks you for the countless years of service you provided
he's figured out my code; what are you doing = I haven't found a better dick yet
Someone should walk up to them and say, "We're sorry, you're too hot to be out here with the other humans."
Randomize
