operation "beaches make me wet" is a go
I think the phrase "baptist college" should be an oxymoron.
i woke up surrounded by junior mints. not to mention, there was a huge pyramid of natty cans baracading the door shut. this is why i can't drink alone.
you can SEE the outline of a pad through her jeans. there is no way
That haircut screams I'm 35 but I still eat pussy.
You need to get here now. Before they realize I'm not puerto rican.
My sugar daddy is a bigger asshole than i am. What's wrong here?
The fact that you're allowing Santa to dry hump your ass is sort of a dealbreaker
Tell me again your tentative move date. There are 5 Russians in my apartment on ecstasy and they are having a rave in my living room. I can't. I need to move stat
She gatecrashed the wedding and managed to get an invite to the open bar reception. Lucky bitch
We walked in and someone handed her an unopened bottle of jack with her name on it. She's like a drunken celebrity.
He sent a video of him jacking off....class will be awkward tomorrow
If my neighbors have super loud sex again tonight, I'm going to leave a ball-gag and roll of duct tape in their mail slot.
What are you bringing to class tomorrow?
sorrow
Well it was okay until he pinned my arms over my head and I found the loaded pistol tucked behind the bed... THIS IS WHY WE DON'T FUCK BOYS IN MONTANA ANYMORE
Randomize
