I cant believe you went over there and fucked her last night after everything you said
she invited me over to play the wii, it's not like i intended to
You KNEW her power was out...
she just made a shot glass out of magazine paper. I love her.
Of course it's dangerous. Why else would they hire us after we failed the drug test?
If I die tonight. Just know that chicken I made fuckin ruled. Recipe: Chicken with a shitload oF spice
So, do you ever feel like EVERY SINGLE ONE OF YOUR FRIENDS IS INVOLVED IN A MASSIVE AND INTRICATE CONSPIRACY TO COCKBLOCK YOU AT ALL COSTS?
This football player keeps talking about his drunk dad. I think he may start crying. Does this deserve a roll tide?
Im going in through the window and borrowing her dog. Dont worry ive done this before. we have an agreement.
Oh you know, sitting here in my bathing suit watching antiques road show and petting the cat. Just the usual
I've blown him while he hit my bong, I've blown him while he played video games and now I'm looking for a new challenge. Don't even try suggesting a blumpkin.
Yuck. My throat feels like someone chucked a couple of Maltov cocktails down it and finished it off with a super soaker filled with Jameson.
No like he has curves. I remember thinking he had a nicer body than me
He asked me while we were fishing why the passion was gone when we have sex. It's official...I am the dude in this relationship.
I can't believe I haven't fucked an Elvis impersonator yet.
Hi I am on my way. I stopped and got the cheeseburger you asked for. Are you gonna pay me back?
Who is this?
the sex is SO much better when he thinks im going insane
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