I'm jammin out to some Brit Birt, she's still my bitch, I love her crazy ass
Update. It gets worse. A) he's done viagra and B) he wears socks at all times.
No. I still stand by my previous statement that nachos and tequila is the breakfast of champions.
i don't want you to think of me as your TA
she has a picture of her daughter riding a giant rooster.. of course i want to make obscene cock jokes
dude that bald bouncer just did a body shot off of brian and then kicked us out for trying to charge him for it
Dude. Apparently I just smoked some stuff that's used for Nigerian spirit quests.
I think my multiple attempts of taking his life, no matter how unintentional they were, has put a damper on our friendship
Turns out I was the only one drinking. I broke one guy's bed and kicked another in the face. Then when an RA came by I shouted to let him in he's gonna find the vodka anyway. Great night
I'm wearing too many socks to be ok with this.
rollerskate sex sounded like a good idea...
That which doesn't kill you gives you an excuse to get shitfaced later
No dude. I can't think of anything LESS sexy than yodeling
As a rule...I don't sleep with my friends or watch movies with talking dogs
I'm gonna make out with this 38 yr old. Mark my words. I don't even have daddy issues.
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