Spring semester is just not the same w/o you
I just peed next to my dog in the yard. Unparalleled forms of bonding going on over here.
I was under the impression that I sent actual words. turns out it was a series of letters and question marks on a side note we still had sex
I wanna get "leaving my dick in charge" drunk.
She asked if I could convince him so shave that shit off his face so he'll have a snowball's chance in hell of getting laid.
You told me my blanket felt like ground beef.
Your dress got me laid by one of Obama's Secret Service members. Patriotic duty, check.
A baby just tried to pull out his mom's huge tits at work today and nearly succeeded. I was silently cheering for the little guy.
I masterbated to the rocky theme song. I'm pretty sure that just beat any sex experience I've ever had.
Ok well i was gonna say you can only borrow my fog machine if you will use it to emerge from your room in a cloud of smoke after having sex with sarah, so yeah we're good
Well I can't be held accountable to know every which time you slid a finger here or slid a finger there. I'm way too busy getting close to climaxing to document these things.
I just had sex with the male version of myself. looks, mindset, even our boob to dick ratio was the same
I didn't think I was even that high but when we were standing in the cop car's headlights I totally forgot how to use my arms
answer honestly do you think i can make a bloody mary with ketchup????
Well, he pretended he was climbing me like he was a monkey and I was a tree during sex.
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