You probably havent been upstairs if you think that the microwave missing its door is bad
eye of the tiger was playing while i pooped... it totally helped.
It was a sobriety test blowjob. If he could get it up, he could get me home.
I don't want to have to force feed him my vagina!!
Made out with a girl in a wheelchair and rode her around while I was blackout. On a new level.
I was dressed as bob Ross as this occurred
French fry pizza
Are you brilliant or just really high?
Can't it be both?
Dude, it's the frankincense and myrrh soap. Smelling like baby Jesus will get you laid.
i ordered 6 shots "to go" what did you think was going to happen!
He called himself Jesus all night but I'm not sure if that's his real name or not
Apparently "I have the beer shits" isn't the excuse my boss wanted to hear. So sue me
It has gotten to a point where I just want to sit on his face. Less butterflies, more orgasms.
Never thought an ATM max withdrawal could be such a good thing...
I am just High Enough to train A-Team of bodybuilding squirrels MMA techniques to tear you asunder. And it's not that I want to is just don't you make me do it!
A sultry night of tacos and sex sounds nice. Should I bring home milk?
My professor is wearing skinny jeans, orange socks and just said penetration. I don't know what to think
Randomize
