Im def. not watching the CMAs. If Kanyes not gonna be there whats the point?
So, apparently, "i expected your penis to be bigger" isn't good pillow talk.
arguing about whether his trip to england or my trip on acid was better
You tried to call "time out" during the sobriety test.
Are you setting a date to bone me?
Are you accepting?
as he was bent over the toilet, he turned to me and said "barbarian kyle is much stronger than regular kyle" and then went right back to puking.
I just know what's gonna happen. I mean. I shaved my legs up to shorts length. But I'm leaving the rest as a sort of makeshift caution tape.
In other news my pubic hair is covered in glitter.
Any sexual interaction is meaningless without pizza during half time.
Just get over here and light metaphorical fireworks in my literal vagina
I was going to say that I wasn't sure how that happened... but then I remembered that I bonded with the Australians over vitamins and INXS and they bought me tequila.
No one with a hairstyle like that is allowed to insult anyone for anything
Ok you had this coming you put a sponsored filter on a dick pic
I think I found my saving grace in the form of a beard at the bar.
Also, why does our bed smell like mayonnaise?
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