I just made a moltov cocktail out of lubricant and a christmas bulb. The fire is still going strong. MERRY CHRISTMAS
I saw a girl walking around campus with bandages on both her knees. I need to get her number.
Looking for the remote in the couch. Finding Adderall beads. Considering utilizing.
There was a lot going on. It was easy to miss a 70 foot tall puppet.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You threw a bunch of trashcans into the middle of the street and nothing happened. I fell on one car and suddenly there were cops everywhere...
The cops caught them pow wowing in the teepee at the entrance of the golf course at 5 am. But were still missing someone.
Do you want the something i can tell my mom in ten year version or the you're gonna call me a whore but be proud version?
i'm only riding in the trunk because they put the case of beer back here..
yeah that's what i said...you fucked him and peed on his comforter
yeah well...Like any great yacht, I leave a wake
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Vague recollection of me ripping your shirt off at the bar... I hope I asked first, otherwise that's real rude.
420 is off to a bad start. Mark wake/baked WAY too much, and he has spent over $50 on the claw machine in the grocery store.
I know him enough to fuck him but not enough to give him advice.
RESPOND QUICKLY THIS IS AN EMERGENCY!!! LITERALLY AN 11 INCH DICK!!!!! HELP.
My horoscope should say: you're an alcoholic, get help today, Pisces
Hi I love you will you be up for a while!
That exclamation point was a drunk decision
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