You put a nerf gun to his head and demanded him to take you to taco bell..
I just want him to slap me with his dick and call it love
he brought me knee pads...is that sweet or weird?
If we go out with the 22/23 year olds we should make t a double date. I don't want to endure the judging looks of the public as I rob the cradle alone.
Saxophones in my mind. I swear someone dosed me.
I have no idea. But I feel like I could climb a mountain and then have sex on it.
"Douchebag of the Year" award goes to the guy who didn't reply to the picture of my tits.
I have alcoholic tendencies but you know what? College
It's after midnight. I didn't find the answer to my problem, but I did find the bottom of a bottle of vodka, so... there's that.
I just accidentally showed an old lady a pic of my penis while showing her cat pics. So how's your day going?
he kept insisting he didn't have my number, so i called his phone and my number came up as "yeaaaaaaaaah!"
Ice cream and condoms, solid grocery store trip
He says it takes a lot to subdue the urge to just bury his face in my vagina. Of course, I have absolutely no problem with this.
I JUST FARTED SO LOUD AND HARD I IMMEDIATELY TASTED IT
It went from a "chill game of beer pong" to "absinthe body shots and a tits parade" in literally two minutes.
Told you inviting her was a good idea.
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