I woke up, not remembering how or when or why i was even there and looked over to find Steph spooning with an adult black man.
I wish you had a penis so you could experience peeing out the window in front of a crowd of people leaving parties.
He lit his shirt on fire at the bar by putting a lit cigarette in the pocket to "save for later."
I have another pimple on my ass cheek.
I'll be there in 10 minutes.
idk but i have you stored in my phone as 'guy with beard doing body shots'
I managed to lose everything but my socks.. which stayed on all 6 times we had sex.
I can't wait to go to grad school so I am not your high unemployed friend.
Honestly, I've had enough of his asshole to last me the new year.
Please tell me you're talking about his personality.
We were dancing and she was clawing my stomach like a fat kid getting to a half broken pinata.
Let me put it this way - if I had a list of things I would like between my legs, she would rank below the cello I turned into firewood sophomore year.
I will give you 100$, a blow job a day for a month and I will shave my legs according to societal standards until next November if you come recuse me from my night class right NOW.
So my mom wants me to come swim with dolphins with my little sisters in October. I'm not sure how to tell her I saw a "when dolphins attack" special when I was rolling and am now terrified of them.
Reached a new low last night. Passed out. With my pants down. On the toilet. At ihop. Waitress had to wake me up.
You wanted to go find him and we told you to sit down cause you kept stumbling. You yelled " I CAN STAND!! It's the walking part I can't figure out!"
God damn you Coronavirus! I'm jonesing I got the itch. I would fully satisfy a horse for some Taco Bell or Perkins. God help me I'm going insane but I definitely don't want to get sick.
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