she looked like she should be chained to micheal vicks radiator
there's nothing like that first "just failed out of my program" beer
I am officially out of liquor stores within a 15 mile radius that don't recognize me as soon as I walk in the door.
So I told her I dislocated my shoulder and she said "well okay. I can either be on top or blow you."
Decisions, decisions.
i told her she would have to blow me everytime we lost a game of beer pong, she never noticed i purposely hit our opponents in the face every other shot
there was a trail of blood coming out of one of the bathroom stalls. thought of you
His little brother just walked in, asked me if I'd blown his brother yet and then announced that he and his friends were going to play outside so we could play too.
P.S. I just watched The Muppets. I feel like I just got a sadness enema.
So what exactly does one do when my driver gets a DUI and is now arrested and I'm still hiding in the trunk?
Btw any and all sexual fantasies or arousal I had about cops is null and void.
I found a playlist on my ipod with only one song on it: gold digger. confused, but not surprised.
The ONLY place I sext is in my anatomy class. It's an amped up level of playing doctor.
Spending Thanksgiving making a swinging profile brings the day to a whole new level...
Oh. So it is a cult
Basically. But a nice cult. They eat muffins and talk about fundraising.
Just sitting at dinner with my dad...simultaneously texting "daddy" to confirm saturday's spanking and telling another guy to get condoms before Im done with dinner. Don't know when I got so ate up but I'm loving it. You?
Regretting asking you what you were doing.
Randomize
