he just texted me two pictures of his dick. i feel i should rethink whatever vibe im obviously giving out
so is it as big as he says?
he put a tube of toothpaste next to it as a reference. it looks legit
That's the last time I fill my pockets with sushi.
I hated hipsters before it was mainstream.
I am currently sitting on a candy bar to warm it up cause it was in the fridge so I can eat it while watching the last song and smoking weed by myself
The house is trashed, there is porn scattered everywhere like an easter egg hunt and the blow up doll is sleeping on the couch downstairs. someone covered her up.
Do you think it'd be inappropriate to have an I'm Not Keeping My Baby Party the day after her baby shower?
In case you were wondering, taking me to see beauty and the beast in theaters would totally get you an unsolicited sloppy beej in the parking lot afterwards.
You should probably take note of that and make it happen.
They sat me on college avenue with a puke bucket and people were mistakenly throwing change in it. Got me enough money take a cab back to my apartment.
My puffy vagina and I are on the way to the doctor to see what your mutant penis did to us THANKS A LOT
Sometimes I really think that if... When your stoned you have a catlike ability to just relax in any position
So he got the TA job but i told him its not official until we have a quickie on his desk. He offered to break into his office. He doesnt start until this fall.
Thinking about licking your asshole. And hugs and stuff too I guess.
So will your sis find it a compliment if I tell her I lost out on some awesome dick to go to her bday dinner???
I have finally found someone I enjoy for reasons that do not necessarily include his dick
Dude, A DAMN CHEESEBURGER HIT ME IN THE FACE!!! WTF was i suppoused to do!?.
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