I don't smoke a lot but now and then I do. Weed and I are like still standing naked in a bathroom together deciding if we should blow one another or bolt for the exit. An awkward relationship.
her lazy eye was starring daggers at me.
great sex! but now the fight over who sleeps on the wet spot starts.
you know how i said i wouldn't send that pic message of your lofted bed falling from you fucking a fat chick? that was after i sent it to your mom
Is it bad that when I see babies I feel bad for them because its going to be forever until they are 21?
is it consensual if they're cheered on by a room filled with 30 people?
I don't appreciate you drunk dressing passed-out me in spandex for bed
It's like my butt was the only innocence I had left and now I don't even have that.
Every single person in dollar tree stares at you if you are buying a pregnancy test and wearing a charlie brown costume. Just FYI.
You take a step back sometimes and are like "when was the last time I was sober?" or "wow I need to stop putting everything in my vagina"
Is this an intervention?
honestly dont worry about it, its not the first time ive injured myself on a potted cactus during sexual relations with a woman
It's almost like sex was the ice breaker and now we're sociable at the gym
After a crazy night, morning sex is just trying to find a position where you can thrust without getting seasick.
I just got dumped by my fuck buddy. Now I have to have sex with my husband.
he passed out in the backyard and we used christmas lights as extension cords for the clippers to shave his head.
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