If i could tip my vagina, i would.
how do you tell a roommate that having sex on your bottom bunk is not appropriate even if she has a top bunk that's hard to climb to?
I'm not a pervert.. I just like to be naked...
like a sex slave...but with a better dental insurance plan
I'm drugging my best friend. I'm like a whole new level of bitch.
Some random at the bar just whispered in my ear that he wants to eat me out while on bath salts....
Drinking vodka straight from my water bottle because of the debate. I just need to forget.
My mom just asked me if I can obtain a fake ID by thursday
Nope. I've found you care about two things in life: your momma and spreading your seed.
WAKE THE EFF UP THE UBER DRIVER IS TRYING TO TAKE ME HOME
Are there edibles for sale in the Denver airport because if so bring those to my mouth
He had a hook in his ceiling. I think I'm in love!
i like him enough to wash my sheets.. but not enough to finally get that pink lemonade and vodka slushy stain out of my carpet
Hey bring in backup. its going to take a lot more beer than we think to fill up the water bed...
Let’s try it, I’ve never had a bad time with sex, tacos and beer.
Randomize
