did you mean anything you said last night? i just wnna know
no
Well, if your day started with strippers, then we're tied. Otheriwse, I'm winning.
The last memory I have is vomiting into a box and her rubbing my back saying "you are such a trooper..."
Some great men died of syphilis. I accept your compliment.
I think rescheduling my finals around when Im going to be hungover is responsible
Its only.eleven and we are already chasing a man on a bike with a bag full of burger king
That and I was watching this life alert commercial and I'm pretty sure my liver turned up the volume for more information
I woke up naked under desk at her apt once during my freshman year. I should have known that friendship was of a different breed...
Almost to my house to grab beer. And pants.
Beans, may the odds of a nip slip and drunken make out session be ever in your favor
I didn't realize how much I relied on you for a reason to drink on tuesday
You owe me a one night stand and a line. Possible an inflatable flamingo as well. And a caesar salad.
Would you by any chance know if there is a proper protocol for traveling with one's vibrator? I wouldn't want the TSA to rip open my suitcase in front of my boss.
Apparently I told him the people made me order taco bell I didn't even want it. And then proceeded to turn off all the lights and sit at the kitchen table in the dark and told him not to look at me.
Although, she is an extremely cool person. She put the "buddy" in "fuck buddy." And I mean that in the most respectful way possible.
Randomize
