Why is my head in the toilet this morning but there is vomit behind the toilet
I'm pretty sure my roommate has taken plan B more times than i've had sex. Not sure how that makes me feel.
well i did feel guilty about it. until i saw how hot the guy was the next day. now, nothing but pride.
New years is officially the only time its okay to drunk dial your parents.
He just used my bikini trimmer to give himself a fumanchu. And I still plan on having sex with him tonight. This has to be what true love feels like.
The twins are whispering in turkish together. I think I did something bad last night.
I was rolling balls and tried to donate blood as an act of kindness to the sick person who would receive it
these girls were driving down the road screaming "SHOT!!" out the windows and pelting potatoes at passerby.
i got hit in the ear.
Im just saying it can't be that bad if he drove himself to the er. We'll head that way when we finish playing scattergories
HOW ARE YOU ALWAYS DRUNK? AND WHERE ARE TOU TRYING TO GO??
you should be awarded for your promiscuity.
i really should.
Mom chose Thanksgiving to tell me the reason I am here is because she was too tired to give my dad a BJ and too drunk to make him pull out.
It was only in the sobering silence of the wilderness on the mountain, after I was too tired to talk anymore and I also didn't want to tell Julian that we were lost, that I realized how super tripped out I had been the entire time...
I don't see why I have to pay for it.
your head went through the window, you're pretty much obligated to pay for it.
Drunk me says 72 hours of Mexican Viagra and room service.Sober me says we stopped being lovers for a reason after the last lost weekend.
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