it sucked. he totally couldn't get it up. blamed it on never having cheated b4. Couldn't stop laughing. fuck.
I kinda knew it wasnt going to pan out when he would rather watch how i met your mother ON TIVO than fuck me......
She transformed our coors light pitcher we stole from the bar into a fruit basket...
I've decided that my new worst fear is that I'll end up on "I Didn't Know I was Pregnant"
we woke up to him feeding us cheetos at 3am. and by feeding i mean shoving them in our mouths and saying "i mean who doesn't like cheetos"
So I totally just remembered that you tried to smoke a hornet out of it's nest.
I just walked past a woman in the bar stroking a mans crotch, yelling 'I made this. I made this happen.'
Drinking with mariachis at jimmy johns.
It is 9pm, let the ass parade to the bars begin
I'm gonna have sex with my clothes on and I'll know everyone there so I'll be in my comfort zone
Thanks for the cold. I shartted and sat through a whole soccer game. James made 3 scores.
Bring a bathing suit and your good liver.
My good liver is still at the dry cleaners. Will my backup liver suffice?
Maybe
So I'm guessing that puking on a camper is a straight path to instant termination?
I just realized I'm currently not eating carbs, drinking alcohol or having sex. 2014 is off to a horrible start.
Only thing exciting about him was his dick.
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