he texted me telling him i gave him the clap. but i think he gave it to me and i gave it back to him
I don't remember. Are we still dating?
she was home schooled till college. were she learned how to give the most amazing blowjobs is still a mystery.
Just bought myself a coach diaper bag. I thought it would be perfect for school. the baby bottle holders are where i'm gonna put my booze
I keep getting texted pictures of my husband with other men. I can't figure out if he wants a divorce or a threesome?
She was crying, alone at a college bar. It would have been rude NOT to try and show my penis to her.
I won't drink with you again until you promise to not feed me anymore paper bags
It is. We should just be drunk all the time forever everything is like just 90% more perfect
and then we all passionately sang "what if god was one of us" until everyone passed out in the grass
to drive Frat boys away, one just needs to cat-call at them. It makes their masculinity weaker, and yours stronger.
IM GOING TO SIT ON YOUR FACE AND CHANT 'I BELIEVE THAT WE WILL WIN'
Just told myself the phrase "You're not THAT single" while dressing myself
I'm telling you, this vagina is really making the rounds lately...
On another note, I almost lost one side of my fake butt. Dancing the wobble with the fake butt isn't recommend.
That's the 3rd negative pregnancy test this month. I'm on a roll.
Randomize
