I would like to feed your fingertips to the wolverines.
I just want to make him a cookie cake that says "you have no chance with me."
boyfriend complimented me on my new prada shoes today. he is officially either gay or the man im gonna marry. knowing my luck it's all of the above.
I cant watch the real world now after jersey shore. its like trying to go back to vagina once uve had anal
Apparently I walked up to him, mumbled something incoherently, then started to make out with him. Why does this always happen.
Could someone please explain the rug burn on the right side of my face and do I need a shot of penicillin?
Im calling him
was mistake calling. If you drunk dial someone you deserve to choke on a tubesock. Take the advice. Always remember
I just really need a hug and a shower beer
I just threw up again because I opened my eyes... God is laughing. I resorted to taking the Mexican Dramamine because I feel seasick from walking. Not helping.
Lesson learned the hard way. If it's a "no" on a dating site, it's also a no if you ever run into the person anyplace in public. It's a slap if you mention wanting to poke.
Idk. It's not appealing to me. Like don't get me wrong, I love ur dick A LOT but I don't want to stare at it on an iPhone screen
Called my house today and my 10 year old brother answered and asked if I was still in jail
Okay well for one he didn't speak any english but before any happened he made me use the translator to consent
But like, I don't remember getting hit with the door... I just come out from peeing and there was blood running down my face.
I'm not gonna be naked if your not here. Thats like a waste of nakedness
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