remind me next year to leave the 19 year old girl at home when you're going to pride. total cock block
Yeah i mean there's 3 guys fighting over me. It would just be bitchy of me not to get with at least 1.
Is it too weird if im a sexy tampon for halloween?
All I remember about walking back home was that I maced my shadow.
I don't think the TSA agent thought getting iced while searching my bag was as funny as I did.
What's the protocol on showing a video of me sucking the life out of my ex in order to prove beyond a doubt that I give great head???
I will now attempt to shave my public hair into a Christmas tree.
Do you relize what downtown will be like this week? Like open season. But instead of deer its hot baseball players from all over the country that we'll never have to see again. I swear the college world series is a gift from god.
He tricked me into going on a double date with him, I don't like that he's not using me for just sex anymore
I just want to curl up with him and brush his hair and sing love songs together, I think you should come over and end this
I woke up on karas dogs bed. Lets evaluate our lives.
I think I've forgotten how to blink. Help plz?
You need to finger her with the Spock hand sign since she loves Star Trek.
I'm just glad you didn't end up in Staten Island
I woke up naked holding a taco. My ass couldn't even make it to my bed let alone Staten Island
Last time i cooked this high i tried to makw bacon amd then burned myselfbon the grill, only to realize 25min latwr when the bacon wouldnt cook that the grill wasn't on. I IMAGINED the burn.
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