you tried to tell me that ice cream had no calories because they were "frozen"
If I send you a picture of the guy passed out in the bath tub, will u be able to identify him?
I found a tip from a dart in my bra this morning
Seriously wondering if smoking a bowl for lunch was a bad idea.
OR THE BEST. STAY TUNED.
I just did the math. It is, in fact, cheaper to go out drinking every weekend than it would be for me to pay for a legitimate therapist. What are you doing next Friday night?
Who are these men, what are we doing here, how is this helping us toward our goals of sex and pasta? Things to consider.
I don't care how fucking drunk you are, you don't forget wanting to shove a wine bottle up someone's ass.
You've gotta make sure the carpets match the drapes, though.
I am not dying my bush blue.
Was I at least a good cuddler? Like at least honorable mention?
She still didn't believe that he would cheat on her so I finally said "how else would I know that his batman mask is still in the back of his car from halloween?" I think she accepted it
Peeing out the car window on the way home was a nice touch. In December, in Michigan, at 3am. Never seen a girl do that before. Neither had the guy in the minivan next to us.
im not letting a little injury get in the way of my alcoholic/drug problems. we ARE getting turnt tonight.
all I know is id definitely throw up if you guys ever dated so if you do stay the fuck away from me
You know it's time to call it a night when every guy in the bar (all 3 of them) have seen you naked at one time or another.
like, there should be nothing wrong with me wanting to watch you put on a bikini and roll around in a kiddie pool of jello
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