So yes it WAS her period, NOT a nose bleed.
dude i feel like shit
well u did eat a lot of play-doh
he just payed for our date, after telling him I was leaving early to meet my fuck buddy. is there something lower than friendzone I can stick this guy in?
my whole body is tingling just thinking about the orgasm hes going to give me
i guess when we were done i grunted "unforgiveable" and walked out.
i think i had a heart attack, prayed, and jizzed my pants.all at once.
So I found "Fat chicks in saran wrap" in my search history.
That's all you talk about when you are wasted.
Moral of the story: If you're gonna throw a glass of wine in a guy's face, don't do it in your own kitchen.
Dude she broke four ribs, how does a 110 lb girl break four of my ribs during sex?! It hurts so bad but was so worth it
I can't wet the bed. That was the old me. I'm grown
Oh my god
if masturbating while stoned isn't called "weed whacking" then i just don't know how to live my life anymore
Are you doing trivia tonite? Also sorry I peed on you.
I'm pretty happy on the couch eating Popeyes and watching Cops so if I go over there you better have drugs left
I was taking a nap and she comes in wo/ pants, gets up on the bed and mounts my face while watching Weeds on Netflix. I'm okay with it, but at least let me wake up first.
She made kool-aid with tequila instead of water and rolled a blunt about the size of an Oscar Mayer hot dog. Best blind date I've ever had. I think I will love her tell my dieing day!
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