i just got a Mexican deported. not sure how to feel.
i asked him to tell me something nice and he said "your vagina is really tight."
I've grown up since last year. I don't give blow jobs as birthday presents anymore.
I convinced a girl to do a shot of salsa someone fell through the whole on the porch and Sara swallowed a beer tab
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
WHAT KIND OF DUMPSTER DOESNT HAVE PIZZA IN IT?
Our 450 pound cab driver smells like McDonalds and sunblock with a touch of vodka. Correction I smell like vodka.
WAKE UP!!! We have 20 minutes to get to class. That means we only have 10 minutes to get drunk.
i convinced him to be a french maid for halloween. he has no idea what he's in for. i just ordered the breast forms.
there was so much lube in my brother's closet...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Lexi was drunk enough at 2pm to say "fuck tom brady and fuck you too" to literally every person at the store in Pats attire.
You kicked me our in the middle of a blizzard with a dead phone. I had to give my watch to a pizza delivery person to take me home. You owe me a gyro too.
She just kept roaring and saying Katy Perry had nothing on her. Wtf did she take?
I danced shirtless on a platform with a fucking stripper who went to MIT
Crawl out into the sunshine and off your vibrator for 7 minutes
Oh I had the weirdest dream in which I was an archeologist stealing a golden dildo from a snobby British person
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