I feel like if im whacking off more now that i have a gf than i did when i was single, somethings wrong.
just found out there is no tactful way to ask your girlfriend to wax her stache. no matter what a google search would have you believe.
All I want for christmas is my sobriety back.
Dude, she literally stopped, mid fuck said "I want soup" got off my dick and make top ramen.
i had to cut you off after you shoved a bunch of bottle caps in your mouth and pretended you had braces.
seeing two hook-ups in tagged in the same picture will send chills down anyone's spine.
It's great having no responsibilities. In normal life I would be freaking the fuck out right about now. But the only worry I have from last night is where i got this shower caddy full of cookies. God I love college.
Please. Last time I saw him I awkwardly pulled his rat tail until it got too weird
He kissed my hand AND my forehead. I don't think this virginity business is for heartless whores like us.
Yeah i was handcuffed to the bed all night but i actually slept like a baby
I consider my hand a solid 5. So if I'm dipping below a 7.5, I might as well go with old faithful.
Let's be honest, I am pretty sketchy looking.
There were 7 of us cowering in the kitchen because you were swinging a giant, pink double headed dildo around like a nunchuk and hitting anyone who came near you with it.
I wonder if my sister will drive me around while I do bong hits in the back seat..
How does fucking Canada get Justin Good Guy Take Me Now, Just Fuck Me In The House of Commons Trudeau, and our new President looks like he bathes in cheetoh dust and sin?
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