I bet the first cavemant to make fire got so much pussy
I woke up this morning with gum gluing my ass cheeks together..
I can't decide if I actually want to know or not..
I have this strange craving to see a really fat person go down a slipnslide
I just past a guy who was biking and double fisting wit glass beer bottles. That is what i call talent
I turn the corner to find her walking in the front door in a tee-shirt, two different shoes and no pants. All she said to me was "I'm sad"
his mom cheated on his dad so i think he has a weird freudian thing for whores
I standby a snuggie being perfectly acceptable attire for drunkenly walking your dog at 5am. Our new neighbors did not seem to agree.
Just managed to stab myself in the ass with a fork. I feel that as my best friend, I'm obligated by friend code to inform you of that sort of thing.
it's like I can see my whorish nature reflected back at me in his wedding ring.
Who am I sleeping next to in your bed? Where are you? Also when are you coming home... I need coffee.
He doesn't deserve you. Your ass looks 8 times better than his face ever will. Wanna order pizza and watch porn?
I ate the crust off the pizza and left the rest in the box. Even I would hate me.
I'm a girl who met my last three bfs in gay clubs. Think I'm doing something wrong?
I may or may not have spiked my gatorade to get through a game of monopoly with these children.
There is no rule that you can't be in a room with more than one dick that's been inside you.
Randomize
