I just wanted to let you know that if you dont tell me to stop texting i will still keep on trying, you matter to me
restraining order is on its way, crazy bitch
I wasn't pimping you out... I was helping you network!
dude i just saw a topless girl trying to get into her locked car. im moving here
Who wants to bang the sort of girl you can get with Axe body spray??
Blowjobs in the shower are a lot like blowjobs not in the shower. Awesome.
Taped crackers to the wall. Sat I'n the dryer. Bobby had to pull me out by my hair. No more.
When you gave the girl your number the fat girl was like "take mine....here please take mine"
Want to come over and rub aloe on my tits?
please tell me we weren't that bad as freshmen
i can't, we're worse now
THERE IS AN ENORMOUS FAT WOMAN EYEING MY FLIGHT'S GATE LIKE IT WOULD BE DELICIOUS TO EAT.
hey if you're going to the hospital do you wanna pick me up a taco on your way back
Soggy bong water carpet is the worst kind of carpet.
A guy just picked up ur brother and carfied him away singing and im slight concern
What kind of true American would I be if I didn't just smoke weed in my bathrobe on my back porch in the middle of suburbia on 4/20? #stepmomoftheyear
Today some guy at work told me I had the nicest hair he's ever seen and my response was "thanks I grew it myself". This is why I'm single.
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