I wish they had a smiley of two girls making out
Her brother walked in on her giving me a bj and just laughed. I got a highfive before I left.
how do i say "thank you for the blowjob, but never talk to me again" without crushing her?
Man, jail baloney is awful.
There's nothing like sitting directly behind someone you fucked 5 years ago at church on Easter Sunday
Woke up this morning buried in a mountain of chex mix and bubble wrap. We must have been doing something great last night
I FEEL like I celebrated someone's 21st, but really I just celebrated Tuesday.
some people popped out of a houseboat and asked us to their party. their houseboat IS A WEEDBOAT. it is full of weed they grow weed. EVERYWHERE.
My vagina needs her own mother sometimes.
The bachelor party was supposed to stay local but I think were in mexico.
Dude, I woke up with wet dollar bills in my boxers where did you take me???
HOW DID I LET MYSELF GET SUCKED IN HE HAS A PENIS FOR PETE'S SAKE.
I walked in and saw her crying and singing to her dog
But I only have 2 emotions angry and horny
We had everything under control until this one jackass fucked up. Thanks, Peter.
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