i think ur clone was at the club last week. she slapped some tall girl in the face who tried to steal her spot on the podium. i dont know if ur like her, but she seemd like a ninja badass with superpowers
I don't remember. Are we still dating?
So the waitress at the Chinese Buffet totally just said "Adios" to a Hispanic couple. There's something you don't see every day.
How do I tell if what I'm covered in is pee or cum?
My doctor literally wrote on the script NO SEX
It's nice to see a girl prepared for the walk of shame. She brought headphones
Saddest moment ever is discovering when your cat no longer wants to get high with you.
We tried. It's impossible to cum while bouncing on a trampoline. It's like trying to sneeze while keeping your eyes open.
Bring condoms and burritos. The rest will fall into place
I wish the sun would stop judging me for being drunk while it's still shining.
Oh if we have sex in public no one will frown upon it. They will stand and cheer for it
PA to anyone at the party last night and wondering where your pants are: they are in my backyard.
While he was at a job interview yesterday, I was dropping acid. So that's the aesthetic of our relationship rn.
Yeah. We're taking this fuck buddy relationship to the next level. Sober weekday sex.
I dont know which is weirder.. the fact that i just watched our mom kick ass at beer pong and ride the pole like a true fire girl or the fact that ive never felt closer to her in my life.
Randomize
