my ass just sighed. even my farts are tired.
IM INA KID IN KING ATURHTS CUNT!
A Kid In King Arthur's Court? Like the movie?
CUNT. CUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUNT
I am far too drunk to be making a tuna melt . There's blood EVERYWHERE.
So my game is weak??
If your game is "Lets have sex, and maybe pizza" then yes.
i lose more brain cells when ever she opens her mouth then i would doing meth for 8 years of my life.
he's listed in a fb relationship with a girl born in 1993. i'm too drunk to do the math on that one, but i am sober enough to know that's illegal
i woke up with a wedding ring drawn on my finger...if this was vegas id be worried
well considering we left the bathroom with the mirror off the wall, a bloody nose, and clothes all messed up they assume im just a coke whore now..
Also, drinking coors light. Fuck that. Fuck that in the fucking face.
Dude, fuck the siberian warm up. You can't put vodka in hot chocolate. Learn from my mistakes
I walking on her passed out on her bed, clutching a burrito and the walking dead dvd on replay.
I ate a hotdog off the ground last night.
I'm at that point in my life where keeping an extra pair of underwear in my purse is normal.
WHO GIVES HANDJOBS AT 8 IN THE FUCKING MORNING
Cockblock successful. That's for pouring nacho cheese on my flatscreen, asshole.
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