do you think there was ever a doctor who smelled his finger after giving a prostate exam?
Drinking mikes hard & watching the swan princess. i fucking LOVE college
Yeah Greg found him eating out of a tuna can with a pill cap
It isn't possible and the very mindfuck of that concept gives me a lady boner.
She sprained her ankle last night trying to flash me.
Dude you spoke to a girl about CRICKET. She MUST want sex
How do you say "thats kinda illegal" in thai?
Wore a burger king crown while giving head still drunk this morning #blessed
The hair on my legs is officially flapping in the breeze when I walk. I must say, being single does have perks and this is one of them.
Good, I would never sleep with your boyfriend , or send you an edible arangment
I still don't understand if he's using me to write his resume or if we're dating
I love you with the passion of a thousand FUCKBOYS during the height of week 1 texting
I hear my roommate snoring and I feel bad for his girlfriend but then I hear them having sex and I guess it all works out in the end.
Have you ever gotten such awesome underwear you wish you didnt have to wear pants?
If I hear the phrase 'these unprecedented times' one more time I'm putting my foot up someone's ass.
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