Women are like Alzheimers patiens. You can compliment them a million times in a day, but the next day is always a wash, you have to start all over.
bro...we were banging on her floor and her dog walked in and started licking my balls
I yelled "Coming in hot." before penetrating. Im pretty sure she loved it.
He freaked out when I started to orgasm. He said he never knew girls could orgasm too.
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I know I'm her Sunday school teacher. I just feel I would be saving others from a lot of headaches by telling her someday she's going to be a stripper
Dude they have your information. Come back. The sheriffs office is here, they are pissed..please come back otherwise jail is inevitable. Call me
i don't think they understood the house was collapsing. they kept dancing and jumping and asking for more cups.
An open call to all exes! i have a drunk text policy that requires i delete any and all texts after drink 3, however i have reason to believe i have done something stupid. if i have texted you that "I love you", "miss you" and/or conveyed any interest in getting back together with you in the last 24 hours i was belligerent and lying. That is all.
She hash-tagged my name. I think it's safe to say that she remembers our hookup.
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We were just getting out tux's at men's warehouse he pulled both of the fitting room girls. I dont think he should be getting married
Is it too forward if I ask him to bring a condom when he comes over to work on our project?
Sexting my TA in lecture = awesome
My manager gave me an envelope with money in it before he had vacation, and when I asked what it was for, he said it will be his bail money.
I dont know which is weirder.. the fact that i just watched our mom kick ass at beer pong and ride the pole like a true fire girl or the fact that ive never felt closer to her in my life.
The ass gains better be worth it
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