I just watched a girl at work pick her nose with 4 of her 5 fingers. So I now know what sausage biscuits taste like in vomit form.
You put a thong on my pumpkin didn't you.
You bring the bicep workout. I'll bring the unscented gentle products. We'll both bring our penises.
Minus the pink eye. Do I look fuckable tonight?
I swear they were about to hook up!!
I know because I was in the tub taking an imaginary silent bath. They stopped cuz I gagged on my shot.
I feel like the devil slapped me in the face with his dick.
Birthday success
Archery is over so let's go back to not giving a fuck for the next 3 years and 11 months
Keep it up. It gets easier when you turn 21. Something happens in people's brains when they turn 21 and all of a sudden you have the power to drink constantly and abuse drugs and still graduate with good grades and your shit together. Im almost positive I read it in my freshman year bio textbook
hell or highwater he WILL get a blowjob in the hammock before the end of summer.
When you wake up on the bus on 139th but you're staying at 6th
133 to go
I booty texted him nothing but three exclamation points at 3:05am and he was in my bed 17 minutes later, lest you think punctuation is not important.
He said a lot of nice things about me, it was really uncalled for.
she told him my safe word. I'm gonna casually work it into conversation and at him suggestively to see if he realizes i want to have rough sex with him
Its really hard to take a shit when the dog wont stop trying to crawl into your lap
OH DEAR GOD IT GOT IN MY MOUTH AGAIN HELP
Randomize
