I'm blazed at jack in the box and my order number is 420. I wish everything in the world made this much sense.
Just dunked an oreo in a white russian. Trying to think of a better experience in my life and failing.
He said he had a gf but the monogamy was "only implied".
is he apposed to sex in general? or just porch sex?
what part of "i slept with our hot teacher" are you not excited about?!
the part where you beat me to him
fair enough.
REAL PEOPLE DRINK 3 BEERS ALONE WILL WATCHING THE LIFETIME MOVIE ABOUT PRINCE WILLIAM AND KATE MIDDLETON
I just did the math. It is, in fact, cheaper to go out drinking every weekend than it would be for me to pay for a legitimate therapist. What are you doing next Friday night?
So not the biggest tits he had his cock between. He could have lied.
There's glitter in my speakers, piles of cheezits on the floor, a random Audi in the driveway and a homeless dude napping in a lawn chair in the backyard. Wtf happened last night?
The bong is packed and it's taco Tuesday come over
he said he was going to fuck me like a rabbit in heat. What he should have said was faster then a train and over before a commercial
Do you know how close I got to throwing him over the edge of the canyon?
I called plan parenthood at 407 am... Guess I was thinking ahead
Is she talking about a testicle cuff or just a cock ring? How did you meet this girl?
Is there a big difference?
It’s about the same as the difference between a night of drunken sex with a stripper at the Bellagio and being robbed and left for dead by a crystal meth tweaker
I’d clean the kitchen before making food. Mark “rang in the New Year” with some rando in there last night
Randomize
