so evidently yelling "gay" everytime your bf tells you how he feels is cause for breakup. news to me
Can someone please explain to me how I got rugburn on my tits?
she thought Martin Luther king was a president at one time. I love knowing I broke up with my ex and this is what he ends up dating.
you jizzed all over me and yelled "makeover"
Got to see someone fall down the stairs while holding hot coffee and a folder full of papers. Best Monday ever.
and unfortunately for you, hallmark doesnt make a "sorry i was getting a blowie in the backseat of your car while you were driving, projectiled my jizz onto your hand, and caused you to crash" card
He bought you footie pajamas. Shit's pretty serious.
Best feedback on my performance so far: "There are things that can't be unseen."
Not only does DQ have s'mores shakes, sonic has a hot dog in a pretzel bun, and Wendy's has a burger in a pretzel bun. Important things are happening.
The last two times I had sex with him I forgot who it was half way through
I don't want any of this. I just want big sausages.
Thanks for letting me pee on your bed and cry about nothing to you. You're a real friend
SCUSE ME I KNOW YOU DIDNT DO THAT MUCH COKE IN 10 MINUTES
What are best friends for?
Picking your clothes up from a one night stand you had nearly 2 months ago
I just lost my handcuff virginity and not in the sexy way.
Randomize
